


finale (the stage is ash, the actor is dead)

by Raegarch



Category: Bleach
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, But it can be interpreted otherwise, He's not getting his powers back, Hurt No Comfort, IchiRuki if you squint, It's just Ichigo focused, Like never
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-24
Updated: 2018-08-24
Packaged: 2019-07-02 00:21:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15785130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raegarch/pseuds/Raegarch
Summary: The Final Getsuga Tenshou is this: limitless power for the price of that which defines you. OR, a world where Ichigo’s powers are never coming back, there are no Fullbringers and Wandenreich, and time marches on.





	finale (the stage is ash, the actor is dead)

He wakes up. His body feels heavy, far too heavy, and it feels like he can barely move sometimes. Like he’s stuck, never going forward, always trying not to look backwards, like all of his momentum has vanished away. But still, he manages to lift himself out of his bed built for one, eyes bleary as he feels the chill of the air on his skin, as he stumbles his way to the shower. The water crashes down on his skin, almost scaldingly hot because he can’t bother to adjust the temperature.

(here is what he very carefully does not think about: Goat Chin and his pity, Karin and her helpless anger, Yuzu and her confusion, Tatsuki and Keigo and Mizuiro trying to understand, Orihime’s trying to help, Ishida’s hidden concern, Chad’s silent support, Hat n’ Clogs and Yoruichi, Renji and Hanataro and all his shinigami friends, the Gotei Thirteen, Rukia)

He sometimes thinks he should be angry, but he’s too numb for that. Listlessness has seeped into the marrow of his bones, and god, even waking up is a trial sometimes. But still, he manages it, because in the end, what else does he have? What use would anger be, or anything else really, in the face of this numbness? He goes through his morning like this, all alone in this empty apartment.

(here is what he tells himself he doesn’t miss: the feel of being freed from the chains of a physical body, Zangetsu in his hands in every form, the rush of being able to protect, to stand between what he loves and what would destroy it, his friends, his family, Rukia)

He goes to work, just one more salaryman in a sea of them, takes the train because that’s what every other salaryman does, is perfectly polite to his co-workers and superiors because he’s too tired for his previous irreverence and disrespect, back when he didn’t go through life in a fugue state, back when he wasn’t an automaton operating on a fixed routine, never changing, never shifting. He does his job, does what is expected, does not slack off, does not go above and beyond, certainly not a model worker, but still a worker.

(here is what he wants to forget: Aizen’s insanity, Aizen’s being alive, everything with Ulquiorra, his Inner Hollow, watching his friends dash off to fight a Hollow and forcing himself to stay put, Grimmjow’s hand impaling Rukia)

He goes back home, lounges around for a while, doesn’t even bother to change much beyond taking off the suit jacket and loosening the tie. He turns on the television, mindlessly watches it for awhile, sees the images flash across the screen but doesn’t take any of it in. He’s zoned out, exhausted but knowing he’s got no real reason to be, barely moving save to blink and to breathe. Eventually, it gets late enough that going to bed is acceptable, so he turns off the television, changes out of his suit, shambles along into his unmade bed, adjusts the blanket enough that he’ll be comfortable enough to sleep. Lays in bed for a while, staring blankly at the ceiling, until he passes out and sleeps.

(here is what his nightmares are: Karakura Town in ruins, Aizen in that final evolution, in the throes of insanity, the Mugetsu not working, not winning, Gin’s smile as his friends are ripped apart, watching himself become a mindless monster again, Hueco Mundo and all its horrors, seeing Rukia vanish away.)

He wakes up. His body feels heavy, far too heavy, and it feels like he can barely move sometimes.


End file.
